Thursday, December 26, 2013

waves of emotion...

I heard someone explain grieving like waves of sadness hitting them. It couldn't be more true when trying to explain the feelings I get. All of a sudden, out of no where, comes a wave of sadness. It almost takes my breath away. Tears instantly fill my eyes. It could just be the slightest thing that reminded me of her. A place, a saying, a picture. I miss her all the time and the thing that still makes me the saddest is that my children don't get to grow up having her in their lives. They don't get to make all these great memories to hold on to. Will Cain remember her? We talk about her often. He tells me the things he liked doing with her and the memories he has of her. Carly will never know her. She will always be a stranger in all the photographs. Yesterday I wanted to call her and tell her all about our Christmas. I wanted her to be here with us. Instead we talked about her during all our activities - while making sugar cookies like we used to do with her and about the first Christmas I ever got to spend with her.

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