Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas 2013

Christmas was a good one this year and also it was strange and a touch of sad. Our kids were spoiled this year, like every year, by all of our family. They are incredibly lucky to have so many people who love them. Due to the fact they are spoiled by so many, Chris and I decided that this year we were going to start a new tradition. 4 things - something to wear, something to read, something they want, something they need - we also added the one Santa gift they get. Santa brings one special present - whatever they asked him for - for a total of 5 presents each. We really wanted to start this tradition now because this is the first year Cain really 'gets' Christmas and along with that he wants every single thing he sees a commercial for or sees in the toy aisle. I just really don't want our kids to get a shit ton of presents and then be disappointed by the fact that some day there may not be that many. It worked out perfectly. The kids couldn't have been happier. We celebrated with Chris' family, at my Mom's house, at my Dad's house, and then at home Christmas morning. Here are some of the pictures from our celebrations.

a quilt made by Grandma Kathy - so cute!

he's barely taken this mask off sense he got it

this is what he asked Santa for and he picked it up and said 
"I've wanted this my whole life!" - cutest moment ever!

Carly got this super cute play house from Aunt Bonnie.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

waves of emotion...

I heard someone explain grieving like waves of sadness hitting them. It couldn't be more true when trying to explain the feelings I get. All of a sudden, out of no where, comes a wave of sadness. It almost takes my breath away. Tears instantly fill my eyes. It could just be the slightest thing that reminded me of her. A place, a saying, a picture. I miss her all the time and the thing that still makes me the saddest is that my children don't get to grow up having her in their lives. They don't get to make all these great memories to hold on to. Will Cain remember her? We talk about her often. He tells me the things he liked doing with her and the memories he has of her. Carly will never know her. She will always be a stranger in all the photographs. Yesterday I wanted to call her and tell her all about our Christmas. I wanted her to be here with us. Instead we talked about her during all our activities - while making sugar cookies like we used to do with her and about the first Christmas I ever got to spend with her.

Monday, December 23, 2013

End of a year

Helloooo... Helloooo... Hellooooo

Anyone still out there?

I have neglected my little blog for far to long and I think the beginning of the year is going to be my time to get back at it. I have said it before, but I'll share it again, I often filter my writing here but that is one thing I hope to change in the new year. I want this to be a raw space for me again. A place for all my thoughts to flow unedited. A place to share the boring mundane stuff as of a mother of two. So I hope you are still following along with me.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you back here in 2014  :)