Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Why does being...

a mother seem to automatically make you feel guilty about everything. Tonight my son is at his grandma's house for the night so his parents can get a full night sleep. I cried the entire way home. I felt incredibly guilty for leaving him there. I'm not sure why...he is with his grandparents who love him and love having him there. They are taking great care of him, I know. I'm running on empty - haven't slept well in forever, I NEED sleep.
The guilt pretty much started the day he was born. After being in labor forever, pushing for 2.5 hours, and doing everything I possibly could I had to have a c-section. At the moment it was happening I obviously didn't think twice about it - whatever it took to get it over with - but later I felt guilty that I wasn't able to have him naturally. Sense that day for the last six months I've felt guilty about everything from food and clothes to the doctor I picked (and did not like at all). Being a working mom even though it's part time - not just being a working mom but the fact that I like going to work 3 days a week.
I know that I am not alone in this motherly guilt trip. I know lots of moms who feel the same way. I just wish I didn't! I'm obviously doing the best I can for my little bird and doing what I think is right for him. That's all you can really do after all isn't it?
And can someone please tell me why it is that fathers do not share in this guilt trip? It's not fair! -well life's not fair ...just practicing ;) So if anyone has any suggestions on how to rid myself of this never ending guilt I'm all ears.
P.S. Sorry for the lack of pictures (auntie kayla) it's just hard to take pictures when your child is being possessed by the teething devil. I will try a little harder :)

3 comments:

  1. I love this post! I feel like I am always guilty. I am lucky enough to be able to take Charlette to work with me and allow her to socialize at the same time. I just started going to that workout class to get away for an hour. I feel soooo guilty doing that. Every time I go I rush home to make sure I can put her to bed. I think it is normal and sorry to say I don't think it goes away. I am not sure why the fathers don't feel the same way. Motherly emotions and being protective maybe. Or the fact that we carried this little person and have been taking care of them for nine extra months :)Just try not to feel so guilty and just remember you need to not only take care and protect your baby boy you need to keep yourself and your relationship with your hubby healthy and happy too :) Hard to remember the last two but without protecting those two things you can't properly take care of your little one. Hope this helped you a little and I know how you feel ;)

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  2. I loved this post! Yes, all mothers feel that way and it is a completely natural (although unwanted) feeling. At the end of the day I always think to myself - maybe I shouldn't have said that or maybe I should of read a little longer and my biggest guilt of all is when they have to go to their dads =o( So believe me having a healthy happy relationship between you and Chris is a wonderful benefit for Cain. He needs his mommy and daddy healthy and full of energy and he will never look back and say "But I didn't want to spend the night at Grandmas!"
    When the hard times hit me I always try to remind myself of the positive things such as they are healthy, beautiful, thriving children who no matter what are always going to say "Thats MY mom!"
    I hope this helps you because you are a wonderful mother, a loving wife, caring friend and a fabulous person all around! Being a mother has a forever changing effect on our emotions that is indescribable to anyone else...even the faters.

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  3. Thank you girls...it really does help :)

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